If I Had a Million Dollars ...

Haim Saban wants to buy the Los Angeles Times to turn it from a "pro-Palestinian paper into a balanced paper."

I think my friend has a better reason for wanting the newspaper.

"Reason why I'd buy the L.A. Times: I hear the donut assortment in the break room -- while not enough to stir actual happiness or even motivation -- is loaded with (the) cake-sprinkle kind."

Sold!